Can there be anything worse than entering an empty lavatory only to find that the previous occupant has dropped off a steamy and odorous deposit? Especially when followed shortly after by another individual who understandably assumes you’re responsible for the dirty deed?
-James Lucius Gray
I would like to take a minute to talk about the growing Swine Flu sickness and the spreading of the zombie fears. The first time I was made aware of this virus reaching zombie impact levels I have to say I spent a few minutes debating wether that is cool that it finally has really happened or not because it actually has finally happened. If there is a cool way to get your hero on, fighting zombies is definitely one of them. Being on the other side, the zombie side well that could really suck. Eating people, maybe your friends, walking slow and staggered, and well just being dead sucks in general.
All this thinking lead me to google (zombies and swine flu) and the results were awesome. My question to you is how would you react if and when the zombies do begin to war with the world. Would you run home and board up your windows, or sharpen up the sticks and go to zombie war?
Loading …After 5 shows in 7 days I can officially say that I am a huge fan of the trend of fantastic opening acts with synchronized back up dancers! The highlight of the week however was most certainly Adira Amram. She was unbelievably funny, I have never seen an audience laugh so much at a show, and her back up dancers are my new heros. There was spandex, neon colors, headbands, and it ended with a cover of ‘Poison’ by Bel Biv Devo.
Check out this foldable skateboard deck concept from “respectable” NYC designer Jin-Seok Hwang.
My decks do this all the time but at least I get to skate them first.
Seriously though, while the novelty of having a foldable skateboard may have intrigued Jin-Seok Hwang, I would suggest that this prototype remain in an AutoCAD form.
Imagining an adult on the cusp of his midlife crisis wearing Vans and Marc Jacobs sunglasses awkwardly pushing through the streets on this is just embarrassing and ridiculous. It’s bad enough we’ve given them scooters to strap to their backs and navigate poorly through public places with.
I suggest that they ignore the impulse to buy this seemingly convenient albeit heavy object and purchase a game console with a virtual skateboard game. It’s better to have them indoors reliving their childhood fantasies than in the way of the rest of us on the street.
-James Lucius Gray
Since we are on the topic of etiquette I would like to bring to attention an office space faux pas. When writing an e-mail (electronic mail) in not only the business world but also the personal sector it is important to understand what type of message you are sending.
OUTBOX: all wack
the CAPTAL concept
Really, do you want to yell about it?
the Unsigned Hyper.
say something, anything. try: goodbye, best, thanks or take care.
You don’t walk away without saying goodbye, thats just rude!
Blind copy capper
when you send out a mass email and do not blind copy your friends, family and or fans, you fail to protect those individuals from the wonderful world of SPAM (see below)
reply all rambler
If there are 10 of us on the email about so and so, then you reply about dinner and a movie, why am I subjected to that information.
Mass Megabyte Marauder
45 MB in an email, really? so obnoxious.
INBOX: mostly wack
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPAM
Dead Euro’s
I won 3 million dollars twice last week, from dead people in the UK.
where’s my money! - Potentially super duper fresh, always ends up wack.
Forgein Policy
These Russian girls always ask me to write them back because they need a husband in US of A.
- kinda fresh.
Love Enlargement
10 plus a day! Do these people have an endless promotion budget, I need the penis enlargement marketing money. - wack with a side of wack sauce
Over the Keyboard
pharmaceutical companies, on email spam? so low class! - wack
until the next.
Mr. Superfresh
attn: I just received this one. Is this solicitation, like when an undercover police person is a hooker for the night trying to sell her sex and if you agree your arrested? If I said yes to this 3 MILLION DOLLAR blind internet deal could I be arrested. You be the judge..
Hi,
Pardon me for not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before making you this offer and it is utterly confidential and genuine by virtue of its nature.I write to solicit your assistance in a funds transfer deal involving US$ 3.5M.This fund has been stashed out of the excess profit made last year by my branch office the International Commercial Bank which I am the manager.
I have already submitted an approved end of the year report for the year 2007 to my head office here in Accra-Ghana and they will never know of this excess. I have since then, placed this amount on a Non-Investment Account without a beneficiary.
Upon your response, I will configure your name on our database as holder of the Non-Investment Account. I will then guide you on how to apply to my head office for the Account Closure/ bank-to-bank remittance of the funds to your designated bank account.
If you concur with this proposal, I intend for you to retain 30% of the funds while 70% shall be for me.
Kindly forward your response to: icbton9@aim.com
Mobile: +233-541-193-188
With Regards,
Mr.Aka
(I left the info in case you wanted to test the water)
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Perhaps it’s my OCD getting the better or me but peanut butter should always be placed in an overhead cabinet and should never, under any circumstance, be stored in a refrigerator. The low temperature will cause this diverse bread garnish to harden therefore fumbling any attempt to spread it on without demolishing the surface to which it’s applied. The only thing you have left in this gory aftermath is a hand full of brown coagulant and crust.
Wack… with an H added to emphasize the Whackness!
-James Lucius Gray
You know, I consider myself to be very stylish, and although I may be more conservative than most, given the forward thinking of New York’s fashion elite, I’m quite certain I can put together a tasteful ensemble.
With that being said I would now like to direct your attention to the picture above. This shell of a man is an abomination to all things considered fashionable and his sorry excuse for a boot is nothing more than some perverse Neolithic costume fantasy. An appropriation made by the thick plastic women of america who are obsessed with Forever 21, Juicy Couture, and all things considered mall culture.
These ridiculous boots have plagued us for far too long. So much so that whenever I encounter an Australian I make sure to reprimand them repeatedly for their unwitting contribution to everything terrible with this world. Much like the designers of the Atomic Bomb.
Further more, it was hot outside, and this fruity rendition of Johnny Cash is an insult to anyone who ever picked up a guitar and called it Rock N Roll. Someone should take these desert boots off his feet, bury him up to his neck in sand, and let the tide wash over his screaming and sun burnt face. Much like the way that Ted Danson met his demise at the end of Tales From The Crypt.
I hope our generations’ version of the Hypercolor t-shirt and Jams will be remembered in great shame.
-James Lucius Gray
The above photo is only a reenactment of a scene I recently witnessed.
So last month when I was visiting up in Boston I was patiently waiting in line on a cold Saturday morning outside of my favorite bakery with my boyfriend when we saw a girl walking, with her friend (ps - if you really are someone’s friend there are a few basic rules you should observe - one of which being you make sure your friends have on pants before they leave the house) in ugh boots and a short terry cloth robe down the street. There is snow on the ground, and this girl is showing off her bare legs and catching quite a breeze.
Now for a second I thought, that’s kind of cute and quirky, and then it really started to sink in how little there is between her polka dotted underpants and me and my boyfriend and it makes me pretty uncomfortable. And then there is the fact that in my sleeping bag like coat even I’m freezing and this chick is totally pants-less. About 10 minutes later she strolls back on by caring a jug of milk with only one hand free to keep her robe closed and I’ve decided I don’t like her. Does that mean I’m a prude? Or is there something fundamentally wrong with short terry cloth robes outside in winter?
Loading …In these uncertain economic times, it would bode well for businesses to make their consumers feel at ease. Like it’s all okay, and that no matter what, “We’re all in this together.” Sometimes this comes in the form of discounted prices or maybe an extended warranty or protection plan. (Mmmmm…I’m starting to feel better already.) Other times the assurance is more related to customer service.
Now don’t get me wrong. I like a smiling face as much as the next guy, but can we please stop raining down the halfhearted welcomes when anyone walks in the damn door? They can’t even get the full sentence out at Subway — (sigh) “Welcome Subway” (sigh…add onions) — and I could walk into my local Jamba Juice holding a severed head and nobody would bat an eyelash because nobody looks.
Look, I know you don’t care that I decided to come here for lunch. Please stop pretending that you do. But if you’re going to blow smoke up my ass, take a page out of any sushi restaurant. It’s like Christmas with those dudes, and regardless of the pointy deathweapons they’re wielding, they not only look up…they point! The only person more excited to see me when I walk in the door is my dog.
Since we’re fortunate enough to get tons of promos we can pretty much telegraph the hot shit at least two months in advance. This always makes November to January a strange time to postulate on all things musical. (Is an album we hear in December, but not due to come out until February, get credited to ‘08 or ’09’s freshness? Hrmmm.) But now that we’re officially in the Ought’Nine, that problem is a thing of the past. If you want last year’s best, bop on over to Fresh or Wack’s officially licensed Good Music Purveyor Mining The Landfill. Below is what we’re on about for the FEW-CHA!
N.A.S.A.
The guest list for this party is unreal. Collabs with David Byrne, Chuck D, Chali 2Na, M.I.A., Ol’ Dirty Bastard (WTF?!), Tom Waits, and Kool Keith are just the tip of the iceberg, and the quality is stellar. (Unlike Fatboy Slim’s all-star project The BPA.) Not enough freshness for you? Their video for the tune “Money” was done by Shepard Fairey.
The Hundreds & Thousands
Think the otherworldly space-rock of Muse mixed in with some really catch indie-pop sentiment and produced live in your friend’s garage. 100’s/1000’s are releasing their album via Nettwerk Records sometime in March but they’ve got new tracks on their Myspace.
Goblin Cock
With a name like that, do you really need a reason to be fresh? Goblin Cock is the brainchild of Pinback’s Rob Crow so you know it’s not some bad kitsch experiment. Great if you like that droney, heavy, stoner rock sound, but with lyrics that you can actually understand. Oh, and did I mention their album’s liner notes are written in Runic symbols?
Late of The Pier
Fuck what you heard about Klaxons and New Rave. Late of the Pier are the real deal. Imagine Mark Bolan (T Rex), Gary Numan, and Justice crash their Prius into a movie theater showing Flash Gordon and you’ll start to get an idea of where these British lads are coming from. Experimental, proggy, dancey, rocky, and just plain awesome.
The Morning After Girls
The freshest thing to come out of Melbourne since Cut Copy, the M.A.G. got Alan Moulder to produce their debut who, apart from doing records with The Smashing Pumpkins, Nine Inch Nails, Depeche Mode, My Bloody Valentine, and The Jesus & Mary Chain, hasn’t really done anything good. Album due out spring ‘09. New tunes on the Myspace right now.
Platinum Pied Pipers
This is a full-on reinvention from the last P.P.P. album, but this new direction has major staying power. Waajeed comes through with some promising young talent in Coultrain, Karma, and Jamila Raegan, and instrumentally moves more toward the next-level vibes of The Soulquarians. Solid New York merchandise from one of the game’s most inventive minds.
personally I bought a different one that did not come with guns and pose capabilities, only to keep it in the box as a reminder of our ever so growing ridiculous pop culture. Today, day one of our newly elected presidents term I stumbled upon this. Wack? Would I be so hypocritical if I said yes?
Loading …“When you feel the icy chill approach, you know that Mr. Cool Ice is drawing close”
so it all started when I looked at my arm thinking about a tattoo I have been planning on committing to. Somehow due to an odd chain off google events, I ended up searching out the worst tattoos EVER! Oh, I found some amazing, stupid, holy s%&; thats real?, tattoo’s. Come to find out about it there are hundreds of blog post about the worst tattoo ever. Well I found the gem, the jewel, the world famous worst tattoo having individual. Who would have know he calls himself Mr Cool Ice.. follow.
so in my research, google, I found this video. Even with the language barrier I am amazed and amused. Then one more click and I found people were interpreting Mr Cool Ice. “He talks too fast for me to translate properly, but if I’m not mistaken, he even says: “I put Cool und Geil (wich roughly could be translated as: Cool and Cool, wich is stupid of course) on my card for mutes” He spent 4000 Euros (!) on his tattoos, and he has a fetish for skulls, but the tattoos couldn’t be too violent. At home, he likes order, discipline and simplicity.
some fun facts and thoughts I found on mr ice cool.
-i know for a fact that when he arrives… so does the party!
-he sure loves his Akzidenz Grotesk
-host: “Hi Thomas. You want to be called ice. Why ice?”
Mr. Cool Ice: “[...] Because Mr. cool always seemed … rather cool to me, and ice because i really love Vanilla Ice, so i added the word ice.”
my recommendation. Google this man… you will not be disappointed..
Celebrity has many side-effects on the human brain, the biggest of all being that a SAG membership somehow comes with a magic soapbox on which you can authoritatively pontificate your blow-hard meanderings on subjects like the Indian moon mission (whoah), the Icelandic economic collapse (frigid), and Sarah Palin’s POV on the ongoing funding of fruit fly studies in France (crazy alliteration). Something they do tend to know a thing or two about is alcohol, especially if they happen to be a musician. So what happens when famous people with tons of money get into the booze business? Mixed results. (See what we did there?)
1. Danny DeVito’s Limoncello: God only knows why you’d subject yourself to this kind of abuse. All Limoncello tastes like cleaning products. You might as well call this Danny DeVito’s Pledge.
2. Marylin Manson’s Mansinthe: If you can get past the idea of putting something called Mansinthe down your throat, this ain’t so bad. Tastes like fermented Listerine.
3. Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Tequilla: An excellent buy from a douchey musician who essentially drove a stake into the heart of one of the best rock groups of the 80s. We hate ourselves for liking this. Damn you, Van Hagar!
4. Maynard James Keenan’s Caduceus Vineyard: Former lead singer of Tool knows a good pair of grapes when he sees ‘em. We recommend seeking out this vineyard at your local specialty shop. Tasty.
Ultimately, though, this comes down to your own personal preference, and begs the larger question:
Loading …well, all this buzz about the iPhone and i finally picked one up. being a very long time apple user i was expecting to totally have my socks knocked off. but man, it annoys me. i sound like i’m under water, i keep on loosing calls, i can’t put music on it from my laptop and my desktop even though it’s the same damn iTunes account, i can’t see how long my calls lasted in the recent calls list, nor can i see what time all my text messages were sent, no picture messaging, i can’t edit an on-the-go playlist once it’s been created. i’ve got a long list of complaints.
if you’re going to make a phone + iPod make a good phone and a good iPod and screw all your stupid apps.
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Graphic designer Nicole Gastonguay has certainly capitalized on the crafty trends of not only knitting, but adorable personifications of inanimate objects. Ranging from knitted versions of hot dogs to decidedly fresh boom boxes, her characters all seem to look as friendly as food and household objects can be.
We love Tina Fay so much… as though a new season of 30 Rock wasn’t enough, she just kills it with her impression of Sarah Palin. So be sure to check out her appearance on Saturday Night Live for the last 2 weeks as Sarah Palin. It’s beyond priceless.
In my humble, fresh-seeking opinion top siders are only cool to wear in an urban environment the way jcrew chinos with little lobsters embroidered on them are cool - in a purely ironic way, a so wack they’re fresh sort of way. However, comfort is fresh, and for all I know, they’re quite comfy.
Loading …Mark Wagner creates crazy collages using cut up dollar bills… dude must be so loaded. How about throwing some cash my way? Huh?!
really? i understand you pick 2 words or kind of words and we need to type them in but this just made me sad.
The Poetic Prophet (AKA The SEO Rapper) is back with another marketing rap. This time he describes web standards and proper design This is amazing! ex.”Your site design is the first thing people see / it should be reflective of you and the industry / easy to look at with a nice navigation / when you can’t find what you want it causes frustration ” go check this out!
According to some the REAL American tradition is apple pie with a slice of chedder cheese on top. But I mean honestly, what are you thinking? That’s pie, not a bowl of broccoli…
Loading …Every summer hundreds of ice cream trucks descend upon the city to take advantage of small children jonesin’ for sugar and some relief from the heat. The trucks’ magical melody loops endlessly… which is awesome if you’re 8, but not so awesome if you’re a little older and wish it would just SHUT UP.
Along comes Michael Hearst, a Brooklyn-based composer who thought it would be a good idea to create some new ice cream jingles. His CD Songs For Ice Cream Trucks is chock full of awesome. Really.
Loading …Ever since Kanye West wore those shutter shades in his video for Stronger they’ve become quite a fashion craze. Kanye wears ‘em, Paris wears ‘em, heck even Ashlee Simpson’s dad wears ‘em. Now they’re available all over the internet and everyone can get their hands on a pair to make their Myspace photos even hipper.
Loading …You ain’t fresher than me cause you use flourishes on your type and drop shadow 3d.
Man oh man do we love this new song from Grouch.
Thank you sir…. thank you.